The (un)kindest cut

My guild leader Jaer and I got into a fight yesterday. I participated in a raid, that's when I realized that raiding was maybe not for me, it's hard work and if everybody is not where they are supposed to be then the whole group can wipe. It can be very stressful and I am not sure I want to deal with that kind of stress on a regular basis. I had been feeling like some of my guild members have been talking behind my back but trying to tell myself that this was not the case. The first time a random guild member told me I would enjoy a different spec I did not think much about it but then everybody talking about death knight tanks, being told three times in a day that "tanking is a big responsability" with that unspoken "I don't think that you can handle it", Jaer's hesitation to let me in the raid in the first place... I'm angry because they talked behind my back and not just in passing, they expressly went off to the side to talk about me and it hurts... Jaer told me that they did not mean to hurt me, and that they did not say anything bad about me and no matter how bruised my pride is I can't help but try to understand where everybody is coming from... I understand that Jaer was hesitant to tell me how he felt because he did not want to insult me, I understand that I could probably do ok as DPS on a raid because I can follow orders well enough and not quibble about it too much, I understand that my guild leader needs me to not be a dork about this, still... I wish he could have told me... the truth is I am not even that attached to my spec and even now as I am still a little defensive I am contemplating a respec. The thing is if it's "he respecced cause he can't cut it as a tank" I am not sure I even want to play the game anymore. Maybe I would enjoy playing ret more but right now I am still upset and respeccing while I feel like shit is a bad idea.

Bottom line: I can change my spec, it's not the end of the world if I do, I may try it out... I can't say I am not curious... to try ret