A small conclict that got resolved

Nacirema joined Jaer's guild in December when computer problems made it impossible for me to play. Until that moment the guild had been mostly me and him chatting in guild chat and I like that alot, but Jaer being the amazing and popular guy he is had friends want to join his guild and Nacirema was one. We became friends and would chat a lot about many different things, she would complain about her real life and I would listen and try to give advice when I could and she would do the same for me. She knew another of the new guild members and she had a complicated past with this person, this past eventually became the source of a lot of drama that really upset Jaer. In the end he had to kick Nacirema from the guild because she caused too many problems, the drama culminated in a fight in Ventrilo that I expressly logged out to avoid.

I will say this I in no way condone what Nacirema did, I think that drama is bad and I don't think there is any excuse for the way she behaved with Jaer and some of the other guild members. That said she was always nice to me and I still think of her as a friend. I understand that the other guild members don't like her and I don't expect them to, their grievances are legitimate.

One day after Nacirema was kicked from the guild some guild members made disparaging remarks about her. Because I still consider her to be a friend I found those remarks kind of hurtful or more I did not like them so I asked my fellow guildies to please stop. They responded that she brought their scorn on herself and that they were not going to show her respect when she deserved none. I think they felt that I was either trying to apologize for her or asking them to stop out of respect for her or something but that was not it at all. I felt that by making those comments they were putting me in a really uncomfortable position, either defend her and get into a fight or don't and feel like I was betraying her. When I asked them to stop it had nothing to do with her it was because thier mean jokes were making me feel bad, but they did not listen to me.

If they want to they can make a "We hate Nacirema channel and say mean things about her all they want there, or whisper about her to their heart's content, my objection was having to hear them.

In any event I spoke to my guild leader and Jaer pointed out that she was on their shit list and that it was only natural after what she had done. I told him my point and he told me he would speak to the other guild members which I don't doubt he did and I know that he explained things well because I have not heard about Nacirema in guild since. I know he understood my point and explained it to the other guild members and I know my guild members had not meant to make me feel bad. In this case because of the goodwill that my guild members have shown me in the past I don't even need an apology from them to move on. I felt like I was being left out of guild business and they apologized for forgetting about me. They try to include me in guild things when the can and I do get along with them most of the time. When I felt that Jaer was being unnecessarily sarcastic with me and I spoke to him he apologized to me and made an effort to be more pleasant. Even though sometimes he worried that he is too laid back as a guild leader I think he is a good one. It is not fair for guild members to expect their leader to act like a babysitter, they need to at least try to resolve conflicts on their own, the way I did. I ended up turning to him for help but only after my own efforts failed. I am a good guild member because I try to solve my own problems in a polite manner but do not hesitate to ask for help when I need it and in all cases aim for an amicable resolution of the problem. Jaer is a good leader because he supported me in this even though he is really upset at Nacirema, he is a good friend because he cared and a good leader because he made sure I understood that I was right to come to him and he assured me he would do what he could to make the situation better.